Has anyone really asked you that?
Has anyone really cared WHY you don't trust easily, WITHOUT first trying to tell you why what you've gone through wasn't a big deal, or attempting to downplay the hurt you endured?
Have you asked yourself that?
Have you really thought about it--I'm sure you have thought about the betrayal, the lies you were told, the stuff you disregarded in hopes that it would actually be truth, but have you really pinpointed what it was that they did that makes you listen more in depth to the next one, or what it was that gave you that 'aha' moment--this MF'er is lying to me?
Have you thought of what those red flags are?
To recap from the video (because somehow while I was recording, the audio and the video messed up):
I named my debut novel "Trust Issues" because it highlighted where trust issues with my main character, Aiyanna, began, and how those trust issues played out in her future relationships. It also gave an example of how trust issues could be combatted.
Since the release of my book, I've had people ask me why I titled it that; I've heard "Oh, damn, so you have trust issues huh"? (males); or simply "Hmph".
In my personal endeavors, conversations occur that ask why I can't just 'let it go'? Men have plead the case for themselves, friends have attempted to make the case for the potential bae that 'they're not all the same...you can't hold the next one responsible for what the old one did'. What I say to that..."yea, whatever!"
The point for me is that I spent some time dissecting the lies I heard, reflected on what it was that I fell for, and while I don't trust easily, I'm not as upset as I used to be. I'm definitely more reserved, and I definitely LISTEN more (cuz I'm listening for those similar phrases). I also don't jump off the deep end when I hear similar things--but I do speak up and ask more questions to see if we are about to travel down the same road.
It isn't healthy to think that everything that every man or woman says is a lie, so it's more useful to determine why you aren't as trusting and what to look out for.
When I finally share SOME of the lies I heard or the bs I experienced, the response is "ohh, damn." I simply shake my head because by the time I've explained WHY, I'm livid that I even had to combat the notion that it's 'not that serious'.
More people than who want to admit, have trust issues. Most of us have been lied to by a person who we thought had our best interest at heart. We know that not everyone has the best intentions for us. We know that people are dishonest.
Here is a platform to share WHY YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES. What was that lie they told you? What was the truth you finally uncovered? What was the bs they tried, or were successful in pulling?
I don't think people understand how severe the hurt can be, nor do they understand how OFTEN it happens!
My hope is that we (MEN & WOMEN) can get these lies off our chest, out of our heads, and hopefully share a laugh, bring some closure, and acknowledgment to the hell we've gone through.
Use the hashtag(s) (#whyihavetrustissues and/or #wihti) in your posts. I will be doing mine via video and written posts.
Let's see if we've heard the same lies...or been through the same ish. One of my stories is so wild, it's another novel I am currently working on (rolled eyes).
Happy sharing and hashtagging!