Sometimes I complain about being single but I have to admit that being single may have been the best thing to happen to me. Since my separation/divorce and two failed relationships after that separation/divorce, there are some things that reign over:
I'm still a mom. One who strives to be an example and a role model for my two little people. One who works hard to prepare a great life for them. One who receives and provides unconditional love.
I still have two degrees (HU, U Know! and GMU), contemplating finishing a 3rd one I started and starting on a 4th one. Like the meme says, no one can take your education from you.
I became a landlord.
I became a published author, an entrepreneur, a business partner, and a member of two different teams made of creative minds.
Being single means there's no one in the background who can say they helped make me. No one was consistently there to push me when the doubt was overwhelming or to congratulate me when shit started popping off. There were some "friends"/"homies" who shared a kind word or cussed me out to get me back on track (thanks) but they never claimed me and I never claimed them.
Some could be honest and admit that they put me through hell, thus giving me a reason and the content to write...but that's about it.
I've written on this before, but as a Pisces woman, the topic continues to resurface because I go through spells where the sad realities of being unattached begin to attack me. BUT these types of revelations snatch me back from that down trodden place and reminds me that it was all God and he is working on my Mr. Everything just as he has been working on me.
This is not to say anything negative about having someone in your corner, because it could be a blessing. I do still pray that there will be someone next to me as I accomplish even more great things, but if not, that'll be ok too.
Ladies/Gents, if ish just doesn't seem to be working out the way you want, revel in that. It means something; it means a lot!! If you have other things going on in your life, shift your focus and work on that. If you don't have anything else going on, FIND SOMETHING else to do: learn a new language, save money for a trip, join an organization, invest in a hobby--something. Simply put, invest in yourself and the rest will fall into place.
I read the notes for this blog to a friend the other day and was asked, "do you think being single made it easier to make those things happen"? To answer--I'm not sure. Regarding time, I think not having someone consistent to share my attention and affection freed up some time. But while I have been "single" for over a year, I have been dating--luckily, the dates were kinda sporadic and a few were long distance so that helped keep me in the house. Mental capacity-- I didn't owe anyone anything. I didn't have to call, didn't have to listen to anyone else talk, and I didn't have relationship things to consider.
I can say being single made some things harder. As mentioned before, I didn't have that support that comes from someone being investing in your well-being.
But overall, I still look at all of that as a win because in some ways those break ups motivated me to make things happen, it pushed me a little further, it showed me that I could do it by myself because God always had my back. It made me remember my strength, realize my best qualities, and focus on bettering myself and my situations.
If you find yourself floating towards Lonely Land, come read this post again. Or message/call me and we can talk because I might be floating along with you 😏.